Diana Adams, an attorney in New York, has drafted hundreds of sperm-donation agreements over nearly two decades, typically among friends or acquaintances. Whether it’s a “godfather” or “special uncle” situation, Adams says there can be conflicts, hurt feelings, and kids left feeling abandoned when their trusted adults make changes to their relationships. “I’ve been involved in a number of the Experiencing All Filve 5 Stages Of Grief Before Breakfast Or What Have You Shirt besides I will buy this disputes that happen when people do not have a sperm-donation agreement,” she says. “Those situations can be fraught and dangerous for the children.”

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“Joe Roderick” — his nom de sperm — has 72 babies to his credit, along with 21 or so more on the Experiencing All Filve 5 Stages Of Grief Before Breakfast Or What Have You Shirt besides I will buy this way. He’s well built, due in part to a career as an exercise physiologist. He also freely admits that he was born in 1968. No sperm bank will take deposits from a man his age, but there are no rules like that online. At 19, Joe fell into an affair with a recently divorced 42-year-old woman. “We began having sex, and she … As I tried to pull out of her, she pulled me into her. It kinda scared the hell out of me at first.” They talked about it, and the woman said she wanted to use him to try to get pregnant. “I found the experience, to be honest, intoxicating in a way. Just the thought of my DNA mixing with her DNA.”

Joe went on to get married, father three sons of his own, and then divorce. Around 2008, he was approached by a lesbian couple, friends of friends, to be their donor. They let him know there were others who might want his help. Joe turned to the Experiencing All Filve 5 Stages Of Grief Before Breakfast Or What Have You Shirt besides I will buy this internet. “I have a number of Craigslist babies,” he says. “The Facebook groups took off around 2012. I moderate half a dozen or so myself.” But in 2014, trouble struck. Joe, like many known donors, used to sign contracts with the mothers. He hoped these would protect both parties by spelling out that he didn’t intend to support any children nor seek custody of them.

Instead, one of those contracts had the Experiencing All Filve 5 Stages Of Grief Before Breakfast Or What Have You Shirt besides I will buy this opposite effect. A couple in Michigan split up, and the birth mother applied for state assistance. She tried to use the contract to prove that Joe had no responsibility for her child, but a family court instead took it as evidence of Joe’s paternity. After a DNA test confirmed it, Joe was stuck with monthly child-support payments. “That child is now 12, so I still have six years of child support to pay,” he says. He doesn’t blame the mother, though. “She was mortified. She thought that contract was protection.”
Adams confirms that a contract can’t always stop child-support claims. “The state really wants to look for somebody else to pay rather than having to provide parental benefits to a mom,” Adams says. “The U.S. is in a patchwork situation about what’s considered a legal parent and whether intention can override biology.” In New York, California, and Massachusetts, for example, where there are donor-insemination laws in place, contracts between a mother and a known donor are generally upheld. But in red states without legislation, if a mom goes on public assistance, the Experiencing All Filve 5 Stages Of Grief Before Breakfast Or What Have You Shirt besides I will buy this donor is at risk of having to pay child support. If a donor and recipient have sex, Adams adds, that could invalidate almost any donor contract.
In addition to the Experiencing All Filve 5 Stages Of Grief Before Breakfast Or What Have You Shirt besides I will buy this Michigan child-support case, Joe has been dragged into court in Indiana and Ohio, and in Michigan for a second time. In each case, the stories were similar: “A lesbian couple was splitting up and they couldn’t agree on parental rights. The birth mothers wanted to cut the ex out of the scene, so they tried to draw me into the middle of it by declaring me the father.” Joe has had to hire lawyers out of pocket and travel out of state five times to renounce his claims to paternity.